Damn navel gazing depression

There are days...
The words seem to seep from my ears..,
Emotions and pain, begging to be heard...
I promised myself I wouldn't..
Wouldn't talk, wouldn't share, hang dirty laundry, anywhere...
Navel gazing does no good, I know this... the more you focus on the problem,  the worse it hurts...
But the words seep from my ears, from my eyes, as I cry...
Overwhelmed,  long past a simple sigh...
Hidden emotions, dragging me down..

Need a way out, need a hand.. need a heart to understand. 
I'm not giving up, not giving in.
Those precious to me, keep me from the end...
But some days..Some days, I  can't help but cry...break down, curl up, I can't let go..
My heart, my treasures need me more...
Every day, every minute,
I  keep on, even when my hearts not in it.
Can't let them down.. Can't let them see..
Their hearts are so much more, than what's lacking inside of me.

..so I'll just hide.. and be the mother they see... and avoid again, despair inside..
They deserve ,more than I have, more than I can be... I'll live for them, until I can again, live for being me...